Ever since I was 7 years old I've hated my body, which is unfair because God made it specifically to fit me. I remember being in the second grade being conscious of how my legs looked every time I saw a reflection of myself. If you knew me as a 16-17 year old, you know I had a painful last few years of high school--full of self hatred, but it didn't stop after I went and got help before college. I was healthy again physically, but mentally I wasn't ready to let go of my body image problems--I wasn't sure how to. I slipped back into that dark hole off and on. It has been 6 years.
Thankfully, I met Dalton who never treated me like I was less of a person because of my challenges, and I am positive that he is the reason I'm now 15 lbs. heavier than I was when we got married. Gaining more weight still scares me, but it's nothing I can't overcome. I have my athleticism back, I'm not ashamed when I look in the mirror, and I have peace in my heart. I feel free.
One day, I will write much more about this, but it is still very tender. One day, I will write to help the thousands of other LDS women who misunderstand perfection and have been spiritually taken by this mental illness.
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