Tradition Withdrawals

On Easter day I'm supposed to wake up and find an Easter basket outside of my bedroom door with a few little gifts and one egg that hints at the color of all the other eggs waiting to be found throughout the house. Then, after church, we journey up Mt. Rose Highway to Grandma's house. Now, my house Grandma's house may not be what you picture--a little cottage with knick-knacks lining the walls. Her house is like her. Elegant, open and naturally lit. I was always in awe walking into her closet as a little girl; it was bigger than my bedroom, and twice as tall.

Before we'd arrive on Easter afternoon, she would hide dozens more eggs in the bushes, rain gutters and rock walls. However, only a few of these eggs actually had candy inside. Grandma would save almost all the change she collected over a year's time and stuff them in these plastic eggs. I earned enough money this way to care less about allowance until mid-June. I would have spent what I'd found in the eggs on a few beanie babies and decks of Pokémon cards. No, I couldn't play the Pokémon game, but I'd buy the packs hoping I'd get a shiny card to show off to the boys at recess.

When I was too old to enjoy this tradition, I still looked forward to watching my siblings get excited about it every year. When I was in college I forgot Easter existed outside of church. Then I got married, and just like every other married person in the world, everything changed. And because my family doesn't live close by, I was thrown into an entirely new world of tradition on holidays, and at first, I felt that I couldn't help but compare my family to Dalton's.

Now, I've been in love with my in-laws since the first time I met them. I can still remember it. They were incredibly kind from the moment they let me into their home, and they've been close ever since. I've learned from them more than anyone else how important family time is, even if it's just sitting in the same room together watching a football game. They really get the "time" concept, and they are never in a rush to get to the next thing. I truly don't deserve my in-laws. This weekend, my mother-in-law scheduled massages for us at a swanky spa, and she always buys new flavors of Ben & Jerry's for me to find in the fridge when I come over. These are just two of hundreds of things this lady does for me that she doesn't need to do. I'm the luckiest.

At first, since I wasn't used to their family gatherings, I often found myself disappointed, thinking about what I was missing out on by not being with my own family on holidays. But was it really the traditions themselves that was getting my down? Were they really that important to me? I didn't feel like they were, but still, something was definitely missing for me.

And suddenly, I figured it out. I was lonely. With Dalton's family, I was in a room full of people that  I loved, and I knew they cared about me, but they wouldn't say more than a few sentences to me when I was around, and they'd known me for some time. Is this how it's always going to be? I didn't want to be bummed about family get-togethers.

And suddenly, again, I figured it out. The problem was 99 percent me. I wasn't trying. So I started making an effort, developing the same relationships I had in my own family. I was waiting around for someone to make me feel like I was right where I belonged, but that's not their job! It's mine. Now, I'm just as excited for the in-law pool parties, food spreads, and their crude birthdays cards and jokes.